4 Days and Counting

Yes this is my first blog post in a year ... we have been out of panic mode and just living life and watching our three amazing children grow and change.  Many days I forget about CJ's facial difference, until he tries to tell me something and I have no idea what he thought that word was supposed to be.

This morning my sweet little alarm clock (right on time) was precious CJ babbling happily in his crib ... his little (but very loud!) voice that I cherish and I am thankful for.  Before the first surgery I lamented the loss of that uniquely-beautiful gappy smile, and I look at pictures and miss it sometimes.  Now, I know I will miss his own little version of speaking ... the babbling and the volume (which has always seemed to us to be amplified somehow by that cleft ... it's like he is his own megaphone).

The next surgery is now 4 days away.  We will find out more (okay, actually ANY) of the specifics at his pre-op, but we are assuming the procedure will center around filling in that hole in his hard palate. It will be huge for him, enabling him to start talking more coherently. But will this change his 'voice'?  It probably won't be so loud or gurgly, as the cleft seems to influence some of the sounds he makes now, so those will likely be no more.

Some words for Campbell are clear as a bell: he says a great "Hiiiiii!" with all the enthusiasm in the world --he is almost certain to put a smile on any grumpy face with his ever-so-cheery "Hi!"  He loves saying "No" ... which most of the time sounds like "Na," but every once and a while he pulls out a very forceful clear "NO."  We have one of these: (http://www.usillygoose.com/nobutton.html) and he LOVES it.  We look forward to starting speech therapy after he heals ... he is so eager to communicate and we can't wait to understand all he has to say.

I was feeling pretty relaxed about the surgery until I met someone yesterday filled with tales of woe about the 2nd cleft palate surgery and the grueling recovery.  They caught a glimpse of my face mid-tale and said, "oh, I probably should not be telling you all of this horrible stuff." I smiled and politely said, "well I'd rather know than be taken by surprise." Since our surgeon is light on details and insists each cleft is different and every surgery is different, I have to have a lot of trust that God will work all this out for CJ's ultimate good, because God did not make a mistake giving this cleft him.  He has just been created a bit different.

We visited the pediatrician this morning for our follow-up sick visit:  thankfully his lungs are clear and his ears look perfect .. this is an enormous answered prayer! Thanks to all of you who have been praying.  My dad called today worried that I sounded worried, but after our appointment today and talking through everything I am feeling much better.  Our pediatrician (we go on and on about the blessing of our amazing surgeon, but our pediatrician is a very gifted man in his own right -- so thankful for both of them) also reminded me that it is proven that children need less pain meds post-surgery if the parents are calm and not stressed.  Hence, my prayers for peace and tranquility..... and maybe some wine (haha).  I was also reminded about how strong, healthy and resilient Campbell has proven himself to be.   The boy almost never cries from the typical toddler bumps and bruises -- he just dusts himself off and keeps motoring.  I know the Lord gave him this pain threshold because He knew what CJ would have to endure!

Many people have said, "wow, he looks so good why does he need another surgery?"  Well,  he needs a mouth without a moon-roof.   He needs to be able to form words properly, he needs to not sneeze food out his nose and he needs to not have the constant drip from his nose into his mouth that results in a cough.  He also needs room for all his teeth, so when his adult teeth do come in they may not come down in the roof of his mouth.  This is only the second of probably five or so surgeries ... so I suspect we might have this nailed by the fifth.